reflective again

Posted · in all about kate, movies · 3 Comments

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I want a love that’s delicious and forgiving. Delicate and strong. Warm and cozy. A love that is slow growing and weathers the storm. Love and relationships are interesting in my life (interesting meaning nonexistent). Not 100% sure why but I think I have ideas. Being in a transitional phase may have a big part of it. Recently joining the workforce and leaving college life behind is certainly a big one. I’m still crawling around in the dark to find my life—and to make things more complicated, I wear glasses, so it’s really hard to see. My past with relationships probably clouds my view of the whole thing–jading me from a positive perspective of hope and opportunity. Guys my age are also delusional. I see this with sincerity, but they seriously have no idea what they’re doing or what they want. I can’t be bothered with the casual relationship business anymore. It’s just far too exhausting and not worth my time. At the end of a long day at work, I don’t want to be randomly called at 11pm to “hang out”—and we all know what that means. I need to feel needed and wanted and cherished. I may seem tough on the outside, but I’m still really a silly girl at heart, naive and scared and wanting to be held. I think the brash part of my personality makes this a difficult fact to comprehend and accept, however, it’s the most honest part about me.

Over the last six months, I’ve been really self-reflective. This shouldn’t come to surprise to anyone (especially myself) since I do this often. But for some reason it seems different—feels different. I think the numerous life changes have compounded into self-reflection and my brain is going numb from all the thought. The dating thing is somewhat of a sore spot for me, and I really need to get over it all. As the old saying goes (something like this), I’m never going to find someone thinking all negative about everything or looking for it, for that matter.

And now I’m rambling and not sure what I was trying to say all along. Happy Saturday. Saw “In Good Company” and I’m content.

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  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/6351872 LegalPrincess

    I saw "In Good Company" as well. I liked it, but felt the ending was a little disappointing. I guess I'm looking for a fairytale, both onscreen and off. I think a lot of us "twenty-somethings" are struggling to find ourselves, and someone with whom to share ourselves. I know from experience that you aren't alone in your endeavor. Guys our age are still "guys"…I don't think many have fully completed the transition to manhood yet. I think we need to be patient, secure in ourselves, and faithful that we will eventually find that which is "delicious and forgiving…warm and cozy." And if we don't, Plan B includes pitchers of martinis and Chippendales! Keep the faith, Luka!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/2621850 marissa

    My sister said something that stuck with me today: Live life as it comes. I thought I would pass it along. Sometimes I think we complicate life when it really should be enjoyed for what it is, right now, at this very moment. As long as we live and learn, that's all we can do. All things will fall into place. That's all I got . . . hope it helps.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/6466951 kime

    kate – you are wonderful and beautiful and have so many amazing qualities that any guy would be incredibley lucky to have. i urge you not to become too jaded, someone is out there for you. there are still great guys out there, the lousy guys just try to hide them.